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Amazing Headlines!

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Richard Valley

Amazing Headlines!

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Posts: 54081

Oct 16 01 7:36 PM

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OKay, so here's what I saw on the front page of one of the supermarket tabloids today:

"Mini-Mermaid Found in Can of Tuna!"

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Daisy Hilton

Mini- Mermaids

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Posts: 5954

Oct 16 01 7:58 PM

"Mini-Mermaid Found in Can of Tuna!"

I just hope for Disney's sake, that it wasn't Ariel or Melody.
..and if it was so tiny, how did they determine it was a merMAID and not a merMAN (apologies to Ethel, of course)?

We are just surrealist pilgrims; melting clocks in marble halls.

77Jerry

Re: Mini- Mermaids

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Posts: 4481

Oct 16 01 11:02 PM

Daisy, it's easy...everybody knows that mermen are just as well endowed below as their female counterparts are above.

DonM435

Re: Amazing Headlines!

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Posts: 9514

Oct 16 01 11:18 PM

I really hope that when a new species is discovered (on this planet or any other) that we'll read of it in a scientific journal, not *The National Perspirer* or whatever.

Ken Hanke

Re: Amazing Headlines!

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Posts: 72168

Oct 16 01 11:39 PM

Administrator

Obviously, you missed Bat Boy...who, I understand, has enlisted and is making the world safe for Democracy.

Daisy Hilton

Re: Amazing Headlines!

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Posts: 5954

Oct 17 01 9:21 AM

Not only that, BatBoy is the subject of one of the best Off-Broadway musicals of this past season...

"hold me, BatBoy, Love me, Batboy..."

"I am NOT a man, I am an animal."

We are just surrealist pilgrims; melting clocks in marble halls.

Ken Hanke

Re: Amazing Headlines!

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Posts: 72168

Oct 17 01 10:34 AM

Administrator

It alarms me because I fully believe this...

Daisy Hilton

Re: Amazing Headlines!

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Posts: 5954

Oct 17 01 7:23 PM

Which is it that you believe? that it's a musical, or that it's good?
Funny thing is, the musical is produced, according to the liner note, with the complete cooperation of THE WEEKLY WORLD NEWS.

We are just surrealist pilgrims; melting clocks in marble halls.

Richard Valley

Re: Amazing Headlines!

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Posts: 54081

Oct 18 01 2:38 AM

The BATBOY musical has indeed received rabid reviews. By the way, I confess I got the headline wrong in my opening post. It was actually something much more believable:

"Mini-Mermaid Found in Tuna Sandwich!"

DonM435

Re: Amazing Headlines!

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Posts: 9514

Oct 18 01 6:11 AM

<< I confess I got the headline wrong in my opening post. ... Tuna Sandwich >>

Well, that makes a whole *lot* of difference! Hell, now I can accept the whole thing.

No, not really.

Ken Hanke

Re: Amazing Headlines!

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Posts: 72168

Oct 18 01 12:06 PM

Administrator

Skeptic!

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John Stoskopf

Amazing Headline(r)s!

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Posts: 1240

Oct 18 01 3:48 PM

Not really a "headline", but one time while driving by a second-run theatre house nearby home, I couldn't believe it when I saw up on the marquee they had playing: "Titanic" along with "Hope Floats". (Dang, I wish I had a camera.)

HarryLong

Re: Amazing Headline(r)s!

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Posts: 25284

Oct 19 01 10:50 AM

The newest World Weekly News (I really ought to subscribe) has to do with a lumberjack held captive as Bigfoot's love slave.
Wow.

Felix Flanken

Re: Amazing Headlines!

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Posts: 307

Oct 19 01 3:34 PM

Ananova Headline: "Paul McCartney pictured urinating on album sleeve"

I suppose it's up to us to guess which album sleeve is he urinating on? Yoko's "Season of Glass"? Lennon's "Imagine"? Anything by Oasis or Denny Laine?

Richard Valley

Re: Amazing Headlines!

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Posts: 54081

Oct 19 01 4:35 PM

Now, THAT'S funny . . . :lol

Richard Valley

Da Nose Knows!

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Posts: 54081

Nov 15 01 8:59 PM

Someone at one of the supermarket tabloids has been seeing too many Woody Allen movies. The headline:

"Hitler's nose cloned--and it's growing a mustache!"

HarryLong

Re: Da Nose Knows!

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Posts: 25284

Nov 16 01 10:49 AM

THEY SAVED HITLERS ... NOSE?

Richard Valley

Gobble! Gobble!

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Posts: 54081

Nov 18 01 4:57 PM

Here's another one:

"Hero Turkey Saves Family of Six . . . Just in Time for Thanksgiving!"

The Queen of the Geeks

Pamela Anderson's Miracle Bible Sex Diet

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Posts: 3034

Nov 18 01 9:16 PM

My favorite tabloid headline...

DWARF RAPES NUN...FLEES IN UFO

(though the Hitler's nose story comes pretty damned close!)

Unregistered(d)

Re: Pamela Anderson's Miracle Bible Sex Diet

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Posts: 0

Nov 18 01 10:44 PM

How about "Dog-Faced Child Bites Mailman...Spends Day in City Pound"...an actual headline from the wonderful SUN tabloid.

HarryLong

Re: Pamela Anderson's Miracle Bible Sex Diet

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Posts: 25284

Nov 19 01 1:48 PM

Can't recall the exact headline from several years ago (and I may have posted this before) but my all-time favorite WORLD WEEKLY NEWS headline referred to a farmer who spotted a UFO land in his cornfield & when he went to investigate an alien emerged and sang "Love Me Tender."
Elvis & aliens in the same story.
Now THAT's writing talent.

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